


falling into the unknown

by Ktc



Series: falling [1]
Category: Friends, Nabriel - Fandom, seashore - Fandom
Genre: Best Friends, Coming of Age, First Times, Gay, M/M, Multi, learning new love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ktc/pseuds/Ktc





	falling into the unknown

Dan has gone back home, Luke knows about Summer and the witness protection and why they had to leave, so he has been waiting to hear from him. The day after he’s supposed to be home, not heard and so texts him.

 

Danny’s phone flashed and he flicked it open to see a text from Luke.

LUKE-  
hey mate, I don’t know if you are back yet or if you’ve stayed longer but I hope you’re ok. Let me know if you need anything.

His finger’s replied before he’d even thought about what to say.  
DAN  
can you come over?

He sighed, clutching the phone and waiting for a response. It was a matter of seconds before the text came through.  
LUKE-   
on my way.

 

Luke rapped his knuckle on the door and waited.  
Danny’s mum Sue answered, she saw Luke and smiled warmly the way she always did when he came round.  
“Hi Luke come in, he’s upstairs.”  
Sue stepped aside and pulled the door open. Luke walked in and turned back to her before making his way up to Danny’s room.  
“How did it go?” he asked.  
She shook her head regretfully. “Not well. Go on up, see if he’ll talk to you.”  
Luke made his way up the stairs and straight along the corridor and into Danny’s room. He didn’t knock on the door anymore; he hadn’t done since the first time he’d gone over to this house. Luke spent as much time as he could here with Danny, mainly because he always felt so comfortable here, but also because it meant he spent as little time as he could in his own home with his all but non-existent mum and step-father he hated to the core.   
As he opened the door, Dan’s figure was lying on the bed.  
“Hi... how’d it go?”   
Danny sat up and Luke’s eyebrows raised in concern at the sight of him. His hair was a mess, his face was pale and his eyes were red as if he had either been crying, or hadn’t slept for days. He looked like crap.   
“Oh wow, that well huh?” he added as he perched on the edge of the bed close to Danny.  
Danny didn’t smile. He didn’t look up. In fact he didn’t move at all, his eyes just fixed down on the duvet scrunched up beneath him.   
Luke was actually getting concerned now. He reached out and touched his arm, “Dan?”   
“She hates me.” He mumbled.  
And he began to cry. Danny’s body crumpled in on itself as he shook through his tears and Luke felt his heart lurch for his best friend. He moved closer and pulled Danny into a hug, arms holding him tightly and telling him it was alright to cry. It took a while, but eventually Danny wrapped his arms around Luke and let the tears fall into his shoulder.  
Luke didn’t move when he spoke next, still held on to Danny. “I’m sure she doesn’t mate... hey come on it can’t be that bad surely? I know you weren’t expecting a warm welcome so what happened?”  
Danny pulled back a little but stayed close enough to keep hold a hold of him. He took a deep shaky breath when he spoke. “It’s such a mess! She was so mad at all of us, we just abandoned her Luke, she was my best friend and I walked away after 16 years.”  
Luke shook his head because he was beating himself up over something out of his control. “You didn’t have a choice.”  
“I could have told her couldn’t I? I told you so I could’ve told her. I knew she would be mad at me, and I knew it may have never been ok but…. It was worse than I imagined and I feel so guilty, I feel like I’m drowning in it.”  
“Yeah I can see that mate.”   
Danny took another shaky breath, threatening to bring more tears but Luke’s hands squeezed the back of his neck. “Dan this wasn’t your fault, having to move and having to leave without telling anyone. You did the best you could given the circumstance.”  
Danny straightened up and Luke wiped a stray tear from his face. He studied Danny, worrying that seeing his old life again, and seeing Summer again his oldest friend, would be too much for him to deal with. He was concerned about what his psychologist would say if she knew the stress he was going through right now. Danny noticed his concern and tried to regain his composure.  
Luke admired his effort, even if it was just for his sake. “So what happened?”  
Danny recalled the events of returning to his old home, a year after he had abandoned his life there. “She wouldn’t even talk to me. I found out that her and Lee were a thing before we left, he was in love with her and he broke her heart.”  
“What?”  
“Yep. And I didn’t know anything about it. That makes me feel like it was my fault, no one told me and I never knew and so now I can’t even look at him?” Danny asked despairingly, more to himself than to than to Luke.  
“Why? He probably never told you because he didn’t want you blaming yourself Dan.”  
Danny shuddered, his voice pitching higher as the emotion drowned him again. “Exactly! I feel like it’s all on me… I wish I’d never gone back.”  
Luke couldn’t hide his concern now and he took Danny’s neck again. “Dan I’m worried about you alright, please don’t relapse because of this because-“  
Danny saw it and he forced himself to calm. “No don’t worry. I just….”   
But he shrugged, at a loss for words to describe what was going through his mind. A few tears surfaced again and Luke pulled him forward again. They sat in silence until Danny had calmed down again. This time Luke pulled back and wiped Danny’s face free of tears and when he stopped, neither of them moved. They had always been close and it was never something that had registered with either of them, but this was different to normal. Danny was at his most vulnerable again, something Luke hadn’t seen since his hospital stay 9 months ago. And Luke wanted to help, he wanted to be able to take some strain off of his friend and let him realise that no matter what he needed to do, Luke would be there to help him through it.   
They stared at each other and all Luke saw was sadness looking back at him.  
“She’ll call Danny.” Luke stated.  
“I’m sorry for dumping on you, it’s just you know about all of it and I wanted to talk to you because I can’t talk to my family and-“  
Luke smiled, “hey, what are friends for? Although you couldn’t vent to all of your mates that’s for sure, I couldn’t see Ed helping you through this.”  
They both smiled and Luke gently hit his arm.  
“Feel any better?”   
Danny nods and they both notice how close they still are.  
Luke watched as Danny’s eyes flicked from his and down to his mouth, he didn’t have time to respond before Danny’s lips were on his. A gasp seeped from his mouth and Danny pulled back.  
Shock filled his face, he pulled away and sprang from the bed and Luke watched him as he shrunk further away, putting space between them.  
“I’m so sorry.” He blurted, “I don’t know why I did that!”  
Luke watched the torment flooding his body and moved towards him. Danny backed away as Luke got close but he stopped him.  
“Dan its fine alright, just forget about it.”  
Danny’s entire body trembled and it caught Luke unexpectedly. The sight of his best friend, shaking through nothing but absolute fear because Luke knew that’s what it was. He knew Danny better than anyone, and Danny knew him better than anyone ever had. It was an odd thing to comprehend because they’d only known each other for a year, but the two of them had become best friends the day they met and since then it was as if they’d known each other forever.  
So to see Danny quaking because of what he’d just done, overrode what had happened. All Luke wanted to do right now was let his friend know they were ok. That it didn’t matter that they had just kissed. Nothing mattered other than his friend not being afraid of him. So he reached a hand out but Danny pulled away further. Luke stepped forward and held Danny’s shoulders, stopping him from moving anymore. “Look at me?”  
He shook his head.  
“Dan look at me?” Luke said firmly.  
Danny pushed him away but Luke didn’t release his hold. “Just go please.”  
“No Dan.”  
“Just go!” Dan urged through a broken voice.  
Luke moved his hands to hold Dan’s collar; gently he forced him to meet his eyes. As soon as they did, Danny’s lip trembled and he shook his head frantically. “I’m so sorry!”  
Luke smiled at him, “it’s fine.”  
Then before either could say another word, Luke pressed his lips against Danny’s. The kiss was soft and swift, enough to show his best friend that things were ok between them. Luke felt Danny’s lips under his. They were warm and soft but didn’t respond to his touch, as if he was frozen with fear. Luke pulled away slightly, just enough to whisper his name again, “Danny?”   
As he spoke their lips brushed together briefly and he felt Dan’s breath shudder against his own. And in that split second, Luke realised he wanted this. He wanted to kiss Danny again, he wanted to feel more of him and he slipped a hand up the length of his arm and around the back of his neck. Dan wasn’t trembling anymore under his hands but he was incredibly still, as if unsure of what to do. He wasn’t gay, Luke was sure of that and neither was he because he had a girlfriend. Yet this was different, Danny had kissed him. And now he wanted to kiss Danny again but the way he was frozen made him stop, what if he hadn’t meant it and he regretted it. What if kissing him a second time had been an even bigger mistake? So they remained frozen together, their faces millimetres from each other. Luke’s fingers moved into his hair and he sighed at the touch, he was just about to pull away when Danny’s hands touched his face and they were kissing again. This time they both melted into it, their lips parting and moving fiercely against each other’s, trying to feel more of each other. Their bodies were touching and all Luke could think was that it felt right, more so than any girl he had ever kissed. Everything about Danny felt right.  
Slowly their lips separated and they both pulled back enough to take a breath again, both of them were breathing heavily and staring at each other intensely. Danny dropped his hands from Luke’s face to his chest, gently but firmly pushing him away further. Luke’s hands moved over his stopping him, “don’t?” was all he whispered.  
And he stopped. He looked up at Luke and the words were stuck, he could see it. But he didn’t say anything, he just waited for the words to come.  
“What the hell Luke?” Danny finally asked.  
Luke let go of his hands and allowed them to have space, now he knew Danny wasn’t going to try and run away from this.  
“I kissed you.”  
“Yes so I kissed you too because it’s ok. Whatever just happened, I want you to know its ok. Whatever the reason, whether you regret it or not it doesn’t matter because it’s fine. All I want is you to promise me we are ok? All I want is for my best friend to promise he’ll always be just that.” Luke said softly and Danny’s face softened with each word.  
“Always.” He replied.  
The door knocked and Danny’s mum popped her head in through the door. “Boys we are going to get Chinese, are you staying Luke?”  
Luke looked at Danny for guidance and Danny smiled, “yeah he’s staying.”  
“Lovely, we’ll see you in a bit.”  
The door shut and the boys looked at each other. Luke found himself smiling and Danny couldn’t stop himself from smiling back.   
“So are we good?” Luke asked.  
“We’re good.”

Later that evening after they’d eaten, the two of them had gone back up to Danny’s room. They were sprawled out on the bed watching Netflix like they did most times Luke stayed over. Danny was starting to yawn and Luke jabbed a finger into his ribs laughing, “hey don’t fall asleep we need to talk about you and Lee. He just text me.”  
Danny groaned, and buried his head into the pillow. “Do we have too?”  
“You can’t ignore him forever, he’s your brother.”  
Luke could hear him grinning when he spoke next, “I can try?”  
He smirked and hit him in the leg, “get up seriously.”  
Danny pushed himself up and looked at Luke. He could see the concern in Luke’s expression for the umpteenth time that evening. “I feel too guilty Luke. I never knew about them, and I made Lee leave. He didn’t have to come into the programme but I begged him too because I didn’t want to do it without him, and so I split them up.”  
Luke shook his head sadly, “Lee came because he wanted too alright? Because his family mean more to him than anyone and because he knew you left Summer to keep her safe. He probably didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to feel bad about it.”  
“That makes me feel even worse!” Danny said.  
“That’s because you’re too nice mate.” Luke smiled. “Tomorrow we will go and see him ok? I’ll let Adam know. You can’t ignore him forever. He doesn’t blame you. And Summer will call I know she will.”  
Danny’s head sunk again but Luke lifted it up and stared at him. “She will, you were her best friend and no matter what’s happened she’ll always need you. You’re my best friend and I’m always going to need you. Just give her some time.”  
They both leant in closer so their lips were close enough to meet, Luke felt a shiver run through his body as they kissed. He’d never felt anything like it before, never with anyone he’d kissed and he had kissed a lot of girls. Luke had always been the one who had a new girlfriend every week. He was even the one who encouraged Danny to go out with girls that said they were interested in him, but Danny never did. He knew Danny was an old fashioned romantic, he wanted the love at first sight, knock you off your feet romance. Whereas Luke was happier when he could casually date anyone he wanted and not have to get too close to them. Luke didn’t want to settle down, he didn’t want to fall heavily for anyone. After seeing what had happened to his mum after his dad had died, Luke vowed never to love anyone so much that if he lost them it would mean he’d lose himself. He didn’t want to be the wreck his mum had turned into and he didn’t want to have his heart broken like that.  
So the fact Danny was getting under his skin enough to make him want to kiss him again was odd.

As they pulled apart, Luke couldn’t help but smile at Danny’s sigh. Neither of them spoke again. Danny lay back on the bed and shut his eyes and Luke yearned to lay next to him, he sat staring at Danny for what felt like eternity before Danny’s hand reached for his and the next second they were lying side by side. They stared at each other in silence, Luke wanted to touch him but he didn’t move. Neither of them moved and they both fell asleep, the last thing they saw being each other’s smile.

 

Danny’s eyes started to open, the room was getting light and he looked up at the clock over his bed. It was only 7am, far too early to be awake. Then he noticed Luke lying next to him, his arms stretched above his head, face down on the pillow. They’d slept together all night…that was another first. As was them kissing last night. What the hell was going on?  
Luke stirred and Danny let him wake in apprehension, not sure of how he would react when he realised they’d shared a bed.  
Luke rolled over and looked up at Dan with a smile. “Morning.”  
Danny Smiled back, “morning.”  
Luke rubbed his eyes, “what time is it?”  
“Only 7.”  
He flew out of the bed like a shock had run through his body. He cursed gathering up his shoes and jacket and Danny watched him in surprise. “My mum is going to freak I’ve been out all night!”  
“Sorry I didn’t think-“  
Luke stopped seeing Danny worry. It wasn’t his fault that his mum was such a cow. “No it’s not your fault, sorry Dan I better go but I’ll call you later and we’ll go see Lee?”  
Danny nodded silently and Luke stopped, making his way back and sitting on the edge of the bed. He thought about how upset Danny had been yesterday. “Are you feeling ok today or do you need me to stay?”  
He shook his head, “I’m fine, you go.”  
Luke nodded and was out of the house in seconds, rushing to get home before his mum or Phil woke up and realised he wasn’t there.

An hour later Luke’s phone buzzed and he felt himself smile as he saw the text was from Dan.   
DAN-  
Hope your mum wasn’t a bitch about you not being there?

Luke replied straight away.  
LUKE-  
Not even awake! Are we ok mate? I know things have changed quite a bit, but are we good?

And he waited nervously for the reply. Yes things were different, they’d kissed and truth be told Luke wouldn’t exactly say he’d be happy if it didn’t happen again. But at the same time, when that wasn’t happening, or when they weren’t closer than normal- nothing was different. That freaked him out more than anything. His phone buzzed and he picked it up again.  
DAN-   
As good as ever mate. I’ll see you later.

 

Danny and Luke went to see Lee. Things were fine, they talked and listening to his brother say none of what happened between Summer and him was anything to do with Danny had eased his guilt a miniscule amount. Miniscule was better than nothing though. They spent the afternoon with him and Adam, (Luke’s cousin and Lee’s flatmate) and now they were back at Danny’s working on their history presentation. And by work, that meant Danny did all of it whilst Luke played on the x-box.   
At 8pm Danny shut his laptop and sighed.  
Luke looked over, “are we finished?”  
Danny laughed, “yes WE are.”  
“Nice one. You know you don’t like me interfering so it’s better for everyone if I stay over here and you just tell me what to say on Monday!”  
Danny shook his head with a smile and moved next to Luke and fell onto the bed. Luke continued playing the game and soon enough Danny picked up a controller and joined in. They played the game for another few hours, by which time Luke had had enough of being beaten every time by Danny so he quit in protest and switched the t.v back on. Both of them sat against the wall and Danny could feel his eyes getting tired. He looked over at Luke who was staring at his phone, and studied his face.   
There was a reason all the girls liked him, even a guy couldn’t be that blind. Luke was very attractive and his blue eyes were piercing, there weren’t many people who could resist their lure.   
“You alright there?” Luke asked, suddenly eyeing up Danny’s stare.  
“Sorry.” Danny blushed, quickly looking away. Shit, he hadn’t even noticed Luke catch him staring.  
Luke’s body shifted closer towards him, and he settled so their arms and legs were side by side. He looked over at Danny again with a smirk, “better?”  
Danny couldn’t stop the stupid smile spreading over his face. “Bit better.” He mumbled.   
“Ah you’re so cute.” Luke grinned at him and turned back towards the T.V.  
“Shut up!” Danny said and nudged his elbow.

Danny’s head was asleep on his shoulder. He didn’t want to wake him up but it was nearly 2am and Luke couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. “Dan?” he whispered quietly.  
Danny’s head lifted from its resting place and he looked up wearily at Luke. “Sorry, did I fall asleep?”  
Luke nodded, “about 2 hours ago. Sorry but I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, I need to lie down.”  
Then he laid himself down with a thankful grunt, his eyes shutting instantly. He could feel Danny waking up and moving from the bed and looked up, “where are you going?” he asked.  
Danny stopped, “to get the spare bed.”  
“Why?” Luke asked and moved over in the bed, inviting Danny in.  
He was hesitant. Should this keep happening? They weren’t stupid, whatever was happening to them was going to change things on a monumental scale, and it was just waiting for that moment to hit. So shouldn’t he stop Luke from encouraging him into wanting more? Yes, he knew he should. But all he could think about right then was how much he wanted to be next to Luke again.  
Danny slipped into the bed next to Luke but he faced away from him. He couldn’t deny himself from being with him, however he didn’t have to keep staring at his pretty face!  
He tried to get himself comfortable and as soon as he did, Luke’s arm slipped along his arm and gently pulled him over so they were facing each other. “Can I ask you something?” Luke asked hesitantly.  
Danny nodded and waited for him to speak.  
“Why did you kiss me?”  
Danny looked away. He studied the ceiling as he thought about how best to answer him. “Honestly Luke, I don’t know why.”  
“Do you want to do it again?” Luke asked.  
This time Danny looked at him. Looked as his big blue eyes searching his face for an answer and realised he couldn’t lie to Luke, he’d never been able to and maybe on this occasion he actually didn’t want to either. He nodded, apologetically. “Yes. I’m sorry, I know how messed up that is I do, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.”   
“You don’t have to apologise. Have you ever thought about it before yesterday?”  
Danny shook his head and Luke knew he hadn’t. “It’s not messed up mate.”  
“Yes it is! You’re my best mate, it’s not exactly normal is it?” Danny said deflated. “I’m sorry.”  
Luke leant over and his face was looking down at him. “Stop apologising. As your best mate I am telling you it’s not messed up…” he stuttered for his next sentence. “…and you can you know?”  
Danny frowned, “can what?”  
“Kiss me again. Anytime.”  
Danny looked at him with surprise, they were so close yet again and Luke had said they could kiss again. The temptation was too much to turn down and so he leant up and kissed him. They spent most of the night kissing before falling asleep in a tangle of limbs.

Luke didn’t want to move, Danny’s arm was around his waist and he was so comfortable, but the toilet called out to his bladder. He tried to slip out from underneath Danny’s hold on him, and then he could slip back in without him ever noticing that he’d left. But Danny stirred as he slipped off the edge of the mattress.  
“Where are you going?” He mumbled.  
Luke smiled at his sleepy voice. “Just the loo, go back to sleep.”  
Danny turned over and sprawled out, taking up most of the bed and it made Luke smile the whole time he was out of the room. When he returned, he studied the bed. There wasn’t a lot of room to squeeze back in next to Danny without waking him. And he didn’t want to wake him because he looked so peaceful it made something in Luke’s stomach squirm in a way it hadn’t done before. Luke sat on the edge of the bed and watched Danny sleep. He ran his fingers through Danny’s soft dark hair and sighed, what was happening to him? He’d never let anyone affect him the way Danny seemed to be doing in the space of 2 days. Luke ran his hands over his face, he had to stop this he knew he did. Danny was clearly developing stronger feelings for him and as much as Luke felt things he’d never experienced with anyone else, whenever they kissed or touched, could he really allow that to turn into something more?   
Luke’s phone buzzed by the side of the bed and when he picked it up he saw a message from Jess his girlfriend, and guilt rippled through his chest. But it wasn’t guilt for spending the night with Danny and not her, it was guilt that when Danny found out she’d text, he would have to leave him to go and see her. Silently he cursed himself because he’d broken his only rule of heart; don’t care enough to feel guilty for anything.  
But this was Danny and he didn’t know what to do when it came to him and them.  
“Dan?” he spoke softly as he shook his shoulder.  
Danny turned to face him, eyes still half shut. “What’s wrong?”  
“I have to go mate, Jess just text.”  
His face dropped and Luke felt it again, that pang of guilt and he wished he didn’t have to feel it but it was too late. “She erm-“  
But Danny cut him off, “no it’s fine, of course you have to go.”  
“I need to-“   
Danny stood up and moved away from him, “Its fine, you don’t have to explain to me do you? She’s your girlfriend, you should go.”  
Before Luke could say anything else, Danny left the room and left him sitting alone in a whirlwind of frustration and confusion.

 

Danny was home alone when the doorbell rang. It was 1pm and he wasn’t expecting anyone round, and his parents wouldn’t be home until late that night as they’d already text to say so. Danny was still in a mood about Luke leaving this morning and so he decided to ignore the caller. But the doorbell rang a second time, then a third and a fourth until he’d gotten up and opened the door.  
“Luke?” he said in surprise.  
Luke stood opposite with his hands stuffed in his pocket and fidgeting nervously. Luke was never nervous, and the sight of him filled Danny with an instant dread.   
“Can I come in?” Luke asked.  
“Shouldn’t you be with jess?” Danny asked before he had thought better of it.  
Luke smiled at the floor, as if he’d been expecting Danny’s response. “Can I come in please?”  
But Danny shook his head and Luke was genuinely shocked, never had Danny ever stopped him from coming round. He’d never needed to ask before either.  
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Danny said softly.  
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Luke frowned.  
“Because we just get too close Luke.”  
Luke let out an exasperated huff. “For god’s sake Dan would you let me in, we need to talk.”  
Danny stepped aside this time and Luke made his way in, standing in the living room awkwardly. Danny stopped by the pillar under the stairs, a spot he often stood in when he was agitated, and Luke watched him for a minute. “I broke up with Jess.”  
Danny’s eyebrows rose, “why?”  
“Because I spend all my time here Dan.”  
Danny’s words stammered with an apologetic tone, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean for you to break up with her Luke. I just wanted you here because I wanted to talk about everything and you are the only one who knows and-“  
Luke stopped him; he stood in front of him bridging their personal spaces once more. “I know that. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else and that’s my point. I care about you more than I care about anyone else besides ad and my nan, I didn’t care about Jess as much as I do about you and I didn’t want her taking my time away from you.”  
Luke’s eyes were looking at him with nothing but honesty and he felt himself smile. “Oh.”  
Luke laughed, “Oh? That’s all I get?”  
Danny smiled but looked away and Luke moved away this time and sighed, sitting on the sofa. “That’s why I left this morning, not for the reasons you kicked me out for.”  
“Sorry,” Danny mumbled sitting next to him.  
“But what is happening here Dan? What is going to happen between us? Because if we carry on like we have we won’t be able to ignore it, so what do you want?”  
Danny shrugged, he didn’t know what he wanted. “What do you want Luke?”  
Luke shrugged too, “I don’t know Dan and that’s no lie. You drive me mad and I don’t know why you do but you do, and I don’t know what that means so I am really confused at the moment.”  
Danny nodded, “I know. And Luke I don’t know either, all I know is that I definitely don’t want this getting too much. So if us getting closer gets too hard or changes things in any way that isn’t anything but good, then we stop.”  
Luke looked at Danny’s sincere face and kissed him. “I don’t want to stop do you?”  
Danny shook his head, Luke wrapped his fingers through Danny’s and they made their way to his room.

Luke slipped his fingers under the hem of Dany’s shirt and felt his stomach tense. Slowly he retracted his hand and touched Danny’s face, “sorry.” He mumbled.  
“It’s fine,” Danny said but he was watching Luke with curiosity and it made Luke smile.  
“Are you alright?” he asked.  
Danny nodded pulling him closer, he kissed Luke more ferociousness than he had done before, making Luke feel the desire and hunger in his touch. He pulled at Luke’s shirt and Luke sat up, letting him pull it over his head before pushing him back into the mattress. He hovered over him, searching Luke’s face for any change in his expression that showed he wanted to stop. They were crossing a line now and they both knew that once it had gone that far there was no going back, so they moved slow, every touch and kiss was done with infinite tenderness trying to gauge the other’s limits.   
Luke’s eyes were looking back at him wide and filled with hunger, he reached up and pulled Danny down, bringing their mouths together again. He ran his hands up Danny’s torso and they broke apart long enough for Luke to throw his shirt onto the floor.   
They kissed and memorised every part of each other. Luke ached to feel more of Danny as his fingers dug into the muscles tightening in his back, he kissed him harder in response to the touch, driving him wild. Luke flipped him over and sat on top of him.   
Danny froze, suddenly very aware of their positioning but Luke just smiled at him in a way that made his stomach dance. Danny looked away with a smirk, “don’t look at me like that Luke.”  
Luke smiled back in amusement and leant down closer to him, “like what?” he whispered in his ear and the warm breath made Danny’s body shiver, eliciting a satisfied smirk from Luke.  
Danny looked at him and Luke grabbed his wrists, pinning his arms above his head. “Like what?”  
He kissed him along his jaw and onto his neck and Danny couldn’t stop the moan escaping his lips when Luke stopped to look back up at him, “like what?”  
“Like you want to do stuff to me.” Danny mumbled, feeling completely under-prepared and exposed right now for how little experience he had when it came to sex.  
Luke smiled and kissed his neck again in between his words, “I do want to do stuff to you, is that a problem?”  
Danny looked at him and then closed his eyes, moving his gaze away from Luke. He shifted his weight off of Dan as he realised that was the problem. “Oh, ok then.”  
Danny leant up on to his elbows, “it’s not like I don’t want to Luke it’s just-“  
Luke frowned, “just what?”  
His cheeks flushed with embarrassment and Luke saw it. He was embarrassed as he looked away and answered, “I am kind of new to this.”  
Luke couldn’t help but laugh because he was surprised, “so am I Dan come on, what is it?”  
“No I mean-“but he stopped himself deflated and flopped back onto the bed.   
Luke pulled him up and so they were face to face, he took his face gently in his hands and forced Danny to look at him. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”  
Danny shook his head, Luke didn’t get it. “I do want too it’s just I’ve never-“he stopped himself, looking for a way to say ‘I’m a virgin’ without actually using the words. “I mean I haven’t you know, I’m not like you Luke, you’ve had girlfriends and experience…”  
“OH!” Luke’s eyes widened in understanding.  
Danny looked away again, even more embarrassed. “I don’t want to disappoint you, you know?”  
Luke kissed him, gently and tenderly. He really was too cute, in all manners of the word. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together remaining close, “I’ve never experienced this before so we are both on new ground here alright?” he kissed him again, “and you Dan, you could never disappoint me, not ever.”  
Danny’s face filled with his unwilling smile and Luke mirrored him. “You have all the lines don’t you?” Danny smirked.  
“I mean it.” Luke said, his face genuine.  
Danny kissed him softly, “I believe you.”  
They kissed again and fell back into the bed, lips locked. Danny’s hand trailed down Luke’s body but Luke stopped him, “slow Dan its fine.”  
But Danny grinned in a way Luke had never seen, as he pulled their lips together again, and mumbled underneath their mouths. “Not too slow.”

They both heard the phone ringing, Luke’s hand searched for it and he picked up Danny’s phone and rolled over to face him. “Dan, phone.”  
Danny reached over and took it from him, answering before he’d looked at the caller id. “Hello?”  
Luke watched him sit up in silence, he looked at him with concern because his body language had changed. Danny exhaled her name and Luke smiled, she had called like he knew she would. Luke touched his back and he looked back at him with a smile, and carried on talking down the phone. Luke got out of bed, putting his shirt on and picking up his trousers as he left the room.   
It was 8pm, Danny’s house was empty downstairs as he put the kettle on.   
He was sitting at the table with a coffee in hand when Danny came into the kitchen. He smiled and sat down with him. “Summer?” Luke asked.  
He nodded. “She’s coming to visit next week.”  
Luke beamed, “that’s really good Dan.”  
Danny smiled, “yeah. Sorry I took so long.”  
“No worries.”  
“Are you alright?” Danny asked.  
Luke took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m fine.”  
But he frowned; he knew Luke wasn’t being honest. “No you aren’t.”  
Luke shrugged, “I guess we won’t be spending so much time together then?”  
Danny couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Never before, in the time they’d known each other, had Danny ever seen Luke jealous over anyone. “Are you jealous Luke?”  
He rolled his eyes, “I don’t do jealously mate.”  
Luke stood up and put his cup into the sink and when he turned around Danny was behind him. He slipped his hands around his waist. “Luke, what is it?”  
He reached up and touched Danny’s face, then leant forward and kissed him. “I don’t want you to think I don’t want you to see her, or spend every second with her whilst she’s here but-“  
Danny finished for him, “but you’re worried this is going to suddenly stop?”  
Luke nodded silently, “I need you Dan.”  
And it was the first time Luke had ever admitted to needing someone. Danny saw the vulnerable side to an otherwise confident and independent Luke, who openly admitted he wouldn’t ever need someone else to make him who he was.  
“And you’ve got me ok? Completely.”   
Luke’s head dropped, “I’m sorry. I am so pleased she’s coming up, I am. That was really selfish of me, sorry.”  
Danny wrapped his arms around Luke and pulled him close. “You’ll like her, and Summer being here doesn’t mean we can’t still spend time together.”  
Before either could say anymore, the front door opened and they heard Danny’s mum and dad coming in so they sprung apart.   
Luke and Danny spent every spare second with each other over the next week and it was great. When Summer came to visit, Luke had managed two days before needing to see him and so they all met at Lee and Adam’s flat, just so Luke could spend some time with him without taking him away from Summer.  
Danny introduced them and they hit it off straight away.   
“She’s great Dan, I can see why she’s your best friend.” Luke said the moment they were alone.  
Danny just stared at him and Luke frowned, “what?”  
“I’ve missed you.” He blurted out quickly.  
Luke smirked, “it’s been two days Dan?”  
He wished he could take the words back instantly, Danny’s face dropped and he felt so bad for making him feel bad. “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I missed you too. But you’re busy…and I’ll still be here when she’s gone back home.”  
“Promise me that?”  
Luke wasn’t sure if Danny was being serious when he said it, but his face didn’t say anything different. “I promise Dan.”  
When he walked away, Luke let out a long raggedy breath that he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding. Things between the two of them had become very serious now and he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit it that scared him a little. He had never felt what he shared with Danny before, never wanted to be with someone all the time, never wanted to please someone else the way he always wanted to please Danny. And he never needed to ensure he didn’t disappoint someone the way he couldn’t bear to do with Danny. And the realisation dawned on him making his knees weaken under his weight.  
Luke couldn’t take his eyes off Danny all night, the pit in his stomach deepening. They needed to talk alone and very soon.

 

Danny and Summer were in the garden, basking in the sun when she looked over at him. He caught her staring and smiled. “What?”  
“It’s just nice to see you smiling that’s all. Your mate Luke seems really nice, I’m glad you had him.” She smiled.  
“Yeah he’s been… great.” Danny said and it wasn’t a lie.  
“So how long have you two been a thing?”  
Danny’s body froze with ice. His breath caught and he didn’t know how to breathe normally anymore. Summer sat up in her chair, “Danny?”  
“Why would you say that Summer?” He rasped.  
She moved in front of him, “it’s me Danny, do you think I wouldn’t see it? He is madly in love with you, as are you with him.”  
Danny moved away from her, he walked back towards the house and she called after him but he ignored her and left the house.

 

Luke opened the door and was surprised to see Danny on the other side. He never called round, none of his mates did because he’d told them not too for a reason. The reason being his mum and step-dad, he didn’t want his friends to have to endure meeting them.   
“Dan what are you doing to here?” he asked.  
Danny didn’t look at him, he kept looking around as if someone was watching them. Luke could see the agitation in his tensed jaw. “What’s up with you?” he asked again.  
“Are they in?” Danny asked.  
Luke shook his head, “no they are out all day.”  
Danny walked past him into the house, Luke closed the door after him and as he turned back to face Danny, his lips were on him. Luke gasped at the force behind the kiss, Danny pushed him against the wall and kissed him with pure passion. Luke stopped him, pressing against his chest to separate them. “Dan?” he asked, needing some explanation.  
Danny studied his face with desperation as he spoke, “do you want to?”  
Luke followed his stare upstairs and felt his stomach jump and suddenly his legs felt like nothing more than jelly. Of course he wanted too, he’d wanted to since they’d kissed but he knew it was Danny’s first time and he wasn’t going to rush him into it. Luke was so nervous he couldn’t even speak, he just stared at Danny and nodded. He smiled at him and took his hand, leading Luke up to his room.

Danny looked over at Luke and couldn’t help but smile. Luke stared back at him and touched his face, “ok?” he asked softly.  
Danny nodded, “are you?”  
Luke couldn’t stop his smile no matter how much he tried. “Amazing.”  
“Shut up!”   
“I’m serious!” Luke protested, “that was…”  
He struggled for words and Danny thought he regretted it, his go to thought was they’d just ruined their friendship by sleeping together. He looked away and groaned, “that bad?”  
“What? NO!” Luke protested and pulled Danny towards him, “not in the slightest Dan Jesus. Is that really what you think?”  
He shrugged, “I don’t know do I? First time remember!”  
Luke could shake him for being so stupid! He had no confidence when it came to anything he wasn’t used too, and he had no idea how much he’d flipped Luke’s world. “So coming from someone for whom this wasn’t their first time, trust me when I say that was pretty perfect.”  
Danny’s face screwed up in his disbelief, “perfect really? For you?”  
The words teased his tongue, he wanted to tell Danny and to make him realise how much Luke adored him and wanted him but he couldn’t get them out. He just stared at him and nodded. Danny’s frown deepened, “that’s twice you’ve looked at me like that now, what’s going on with you?” he asked.  
“Looked at you like what?” Luke asked, not realising he had done anything.  
“Like there’s something on your mind.” Danny said.  
The words rung so true in Luke’s ears, he found himself moving away from Danny like if he was too close he would hear his thoughts. “I’m fine.”   
Danny watched him sit as still as a statue, and they felt instantly distant. Danny could reach across and touch him but he felt a million miles away. He knew Luke wasn’t the most open person and didn’t exactly talk feelings, but he knew Danny well enough to tell him anything and had never shied away from talking to him about things he wouldn’t have told anyone else. They stayed in silence until Danny pushed himself up and grabbed his top off of the floor.  
“What are you doing?” Luke asked panicked.  
“If you won’t talk to me then I should probably go.”  
“No don’t go,” Luke said taking his arm. “Don’t.”  
Danny shrugged free of his hold, “so talk to me. You want me to stay then talk because this isn’t going to work if you clam up on me ok? I already feel on edge all the time, waiting for you to finish things so if you start closing off then it’s really not going to work.”  
The words hurt, Luke felt like the opportunity to tell him how he really felt was slipping through his fingers within seconds. He wanted to tell him how much he wanted this and Danny was practically breaking up with him. “Why are you waiting for me to finish things?” he asked upset.  
Danny saw the hurt in his face and bit his lip, trying to stop the surge of emotion from taking over and causing his voice to break. “Because it’s you Luke. Because I am well aware that it was me that pushed this into happening, me that chased this because I wanted you. I know you don’t do serious or any type of commitment and when I think about that it kills me…because I want you.”  
Danny shut his eyes, holding the tears back. Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Danny I-“  
He stopped and Danny watched him struggle to talk. Luke’s eyes filled with tears and he was silenced. He’d never seen Luke cry and for a minute it stopped him doing anything but stand there and watch him. “Luke I’m sorry I just don’t know where I stand.” He whispered after a minute.  
“I’m in love with you Dan.” Luke cried.  
“What?”  
“I love you. And it scares the crap out of me alright? I’m so scared because I don’t do that Dan, you know I don’t. You just said I don’t and-“  
Danny pulled him close and wiped the tears rolling down his cheeks, Luke avoided meeting his eye as more tears slipped out of them.   
“I love you too.”  
Luke shook his head and cried even more, but Danny held his face and they looked at each other. “I love you Luke.”  
“But what if this all goes wrong now? I don’t know how to deal with being in a relationship, and we are going to cause so much trouble when we tell people about us and all I keep stewing on is that I’ll hurt you. I’ve never been relied on Dan and I don’t know if I can be. I don’t want to hurt you.” Luke said, wiping his face and looking to Danny to help him process what was happening.  
He smiled and shrugged, “you’ve always been there Luke. I’ve always relied on you and you haven’t even noticed because we were mates, so us being more than just mates isn’t going to change that. I know you have this big issue with love and not wanting to need anyone, because they let you down. But I am always going to be here for you don’t ever think I won’t. I love you Luke as my best mate and so much more.”  
Luke looked at him in that way for a third time. Only now Danny could see that it was because he loved him, “you’re looking at me like that again.” He joked, trying to lift Luke’s mood, and Luke kissed him.  
“It’s because I keep realising how much you amaze me.” He smiled and kissed him again. “I love you… And I can’t believe I’m saying that to you.”  
Danny laughed, “neither can I! Maybe we should think about telling people then?” He saw the concern in Luke at the mention of it. “Luke we’ll be alright.”  
He nodded and sighed. “I hope so. I can’t tell my mum Dan, or Phil- they will kill me. They aren’t like your family.”  
Danny knew that was true, and he thought about telling his family and it filled him with dread. Summer obviously knew because she knew him so well. She hadn’t seemed to find anything wrong with it, and he knew his family loved him however coming out as gay was something he had no incline of how they would react. “We’ll be fine.” He affirmed, more to himself than to Luke.

 

The next day Danny called Luke, over and over. He’d called 15 times before 11 am. 30 times before 2pm and by 4 pm he was outside Luke’s front door again, freaking out about why he hadn’t answered the phone. The door opened and Luke looked at him in sheer horror, Danny felt his stomach drop when he saw a black bruise under one of his eyes. “What the-“  
Luke pushed him back down the steps hastily, “you have to get out of here.”  
“What?”  
Luke pushed him with force further down the path, away from the house. “just go Danny.”  
Danny shook free of his grip and stopped him, “what the hell happened to you? You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts.”  
“Because I don’t want to talk to you!” Luke spat. “Just leave me alone!”  
Danny didn’t understand where the venom in his voice had suddenly come from, Luke looked at him angrily and he didn’t have a clue what was going on. “Luke I don’t understand?”  
He shoved him again, “we’re done Danny ok? You and me are over I don’t want to see you anymore.”  
In that moment his heart broke. He couldn’t breathe and Luke saw it, and for a split second Danny thought he was going to say it was a joke. But he didn’t, instead his eyes filled with tears and he pulled away. “I’m so sorry Dan.”  
Danny couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything but watch Luke walk away from him. The door opened and Phil was standing in the doorway, Luke jump back towards Danny and pushed him away again, “just go! Danny just go away and stay away.”  
His feet stumbled but he managed to stay upright, managed to put one foot in front of the other and walk away. He didn’t remember getting home, all he remembered was getting into his room and falling into Summer’s arms sobbing.   
Summer just hugged him tightly until he’d calmed enough to talk. Danny struggled to get the words out in one go, wiping his face and trying to calm down. “He broke up with me.”  
He saw her surprise and nodded. “But why would he do that?” She asked.  
“I don’t know!” He cried again, “yesterday he told me he was in love with me, and today he broke up with me…what the hell have I done?”  
She hushed his fresh tears, “this isn’t you Danny, something must have happened. You haven’t done anything wrong!”  
But he must have done something because how could they go from blissfully happy to heartbroken in less than 24 hours. What had happened? And why did Luke have a black eye? Of all the things he knew about Luke and knew about how he’d treated the people he had dated, never once did Danny ever think he would hurt him like this. Not after telling him he loved him.   
Danny cried into Summer’s arms for most of the night.  
The next few days, no one heard from Luke. Danny had tried to call for an explanation, he’d text, he’d apologised and he’d begged for some kind of answers. But there was never any reply.   
Summer went home 4 days after Luke had split them apart. She didn’t want to leave him but Danny insisted on it, she was having her own issues with Lee and the last thing he had wanted was the two of them moping around over their broken hearts. The day she left, his mum knocked on his door.   
“Can I come in?”  
Danny nodded, “of course.”  
“How are you?” She asked, sitting on his bed.  
He eyed her curiously and forced a smile, “fine. Why?”  
His mum shrugged and tried to look around the room nonchalantly. “No reason. Summer just said to keep an eye on you.”  
Danny cursed her silently, “I’m fine mum don’t worry about me.”  
“It’s just Luke hasn’t been around for a while, I almost miss not having any food or hot water in the house. I don’t know what to do with myself!”  
The words had the desired effect; Danny’s mood plummeted at the mention of his name. His mum sighed, “And there it is. What happened between you two?”  
Danny frowned, “it’s nothing.”  
“Or it’s something you think you can’t talk about?” She suggested. “It’s ok if that’s the case Daniel, but I want you to know that when you are ready to talk to me I will be waiting. No matter what you have to say.”  
Danny studied her face, what was she hinting at? Did she know? The thought caught him off guard. “Has Summer said something?”  
His mum shook his head, “no she said it was nothing to do with her. But I know somethings going on with you and Luke, I know you son. And you should know me well enough to know you can tell me anything.”  
She kissed his cheek and stood to leave the room. Danny looked at her, “Mum.” He called after her and she stopped, waiting for him to speak.  
“We…” He stuttered, not knowing what to say. All he wanted was to tell her that he’d had his heart stamped all over and didn’t know how to make that stop hurting.   
She walked back over to him and held his hand. “What can I do?”  
Tears filled his eyes uncontrollably and she hugged him. “He’ll come around.” She whispered and Danny cried more at her understanding.  
Half an hour later his mum kissed his cheek, “I’m here alright?”  
Danny nodded, “I know.”  
“If you need me to cancel your appointment tomorrow then I will.”  
He shook his head, “no it’s fine, I’m hoping it’s my last one.”  
She kissed his cheek again and then left him in his room, pondering over what his psychologist would say tomorrow. He hated going to see her, the moment he’d woken up after what he’d done there was no chance he would ever attempt anything so stupid again. So he didn’t see the need to keep meeting her every month to discuss what had happened and why he’d done it. All he wanted was for what happened in the past to be left in the past, so tomorrow he would answer every question she had, in the way he knew she wanted, and then pray to God he would never have to go again.

 

Danny was sitting in the little garden next to the lake; it was where he always came after his appointments as it was en-route to his house. He always stopped here, and Luke always turned up at the right moment. Danny had often wondered if he’d followed him from the psychologist’s office, because he knew how much Danny had dreaded going to see her.  
He was thinking about Luke when a shadow fell across the bench he was sitting on. Danny looked up and he was there.   
“Hi.”  
Danny inhaled a shaky breath, “what are you doing here?”  
Luke sat next to him, purposely keeping a distance between them. Danny looked at him; he looked terrible. His skin was pale and eyes red and sunken, but more than anything he looked as miserable as Danny felt.  
“How did it go?” Luke asked and for a minute Danny was grateful that he’d remembered. “Are you done or do you have to go back?”   
Danny sighed, “…she thought I’d been getting better until today. Now she’s worried about me again, and I have to go back in two weeks.”  
Luke’s body appeared to drop, sharing Danny’s disappointment. “Sorry Danny, I know you wanted it to be over.”  
“I just wanted to forget about all about it, and leave it in the past.”  
Danny sat back and looked up into the sky. Luke wouldn’t look at him, whatever had happened between them had ruined everything they had including their deep set friendship because they were like strangers now. He looked round at Luke, “what are you doing here?”  
Luke continued to look straight in front of him when he replied. “I knew your appointment was today and I wanted to see that you were ok.”  
“Why?” Danny asked.  
Luke caught his eye this time, “because I was worried about you. I’m always worried about you.”  
The stifled laugh slipped from his lips. “Well you don’t need to be anymore do you Luke, so you can go.”  
Danny stood up and Luke grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “I’m sorry.”  
“So am I Luke, sorry I ever thought we were different.”  
Luke watched him walk away and felt utterly lost. He didn’t know what to do anymore, he couldn’t go back home because if he did he might not get out again. He thought about going to Adam’s, but then he’d have to come up with some explanation as to why he wouldn’t go home. He didn’t know what to do, and the worst part was the one person he had relied on to help him figure anything out- had just walked away from him.

When Luke got to Adam’s he didn’t need to tell him much for Adam to let him stay. In fact he hadn’t said anything other than could he stay. The spare room was his for as long as he wanted it, and not even Lee asked him why he was staying and that’s when he decided that people knowing about his shit step-dad and wasted mum actually worked in his favour.  
Lee was out and Adam was in his room studying, he may have been the only person Luke knew besides Danny who actually did any studying. Luke was staring at the T.V, not watching the programme or listening to anything that was going on when Adam came in the front room. “Want some lunch?” he asked.  
Luke shook his head and Adam stopped, watching him. “What’s going on Luke?”  
“Nothing.” He replied.  
Before Adam could press him further the doorbell rang and Luke jumped up happily to answer it, anything to get away from Adam’s questioning.  
“Dan?” he blurted, stunned to see him standing at the door.  
Danny cursed, holding his stomach. He looked in pain, Luke reached out instinctively but he pulled away. “Is Lee in?” he rasped through gritted teeth.  
Luke could see he was in real pain, he looked pale but his cheeks were flushed. “No he’s at work. Are you alright?”  
He grabbed the door frame to steady himself and Luke grabbed his shoulders before he could shrug him away. “Adam!” he called back into the flat, and turned back to Danny. “Sit down mate.”  
Danny collapsed to the floor as Adam appeared. They exchanged worried glances and Adam sat with him, “what’s wrong Dan?”  
“My stomach!” he yelped, screwing his face up with discomfort.  
“Ok mate hang on.”  
Adam passed Luke his phone, “call an ambulance now.”  
Luke dialled the ambulance and watched Adam talking to Danny with nothing but concern. He relayed the ambulance service’s questions to Adam and his answers back to the ambulance, all the while watching as Danny squirmed with ever increasing distress.  
“Luke come here.” Adam said gesturing for him, “Sit with him whilst I get a bowl.”  
He pulled Luke to Danny’s side and disappeared into the flat. Danny was shaking and Luke reached out to take his hand, “you’re going to be fine yeah?” He said squeezing their hands together.  
Danny’s eyes looked at him with fear, “don’t leave me Luke!” he begged.  
“Not for a second.”  
His eyes shut closed and his whole body trembled, it scared Luke to his core. Something was really wrong and it terrified him. “ADAM!” he shouted.  
He re-appeared in a second, looking concerned. Luke gestured to Danny, “what the hell is wrong with him?”  
Adam knelt next to him and put the bowl by his side. “Ambulance won’t be long Dan, I’ve called Lee and your mum they’re going to meet us at the hospital.”  
Danny nodded but then coughed, his face draining of colour. “I’m going to be sick!” he warned.  
Adam picked up the bowl just in time for him to vomit.

They were waiting in the cubicle in a&e, Danny had cannulas in both his hands. Bloods had been taken and pain relief had been given but it hadn’t helped, he’d been sick so many times Luke was in disbelief as to what he could possibly have left in his stomach to bring up. Adam watched him on the trolley with concern, “how’s the pain?” he asked.  
Danny groaned, writhing in agony. Luke couldn’t bare it anymore, “why aren’t they doing anything?”  
Adam heard his desperation, “Dan talk to me, is it better, the same or worse?”  
Tears stopped him speaking for a moment, all he could mutter was the words worse. Adam left the cubicle and Luke sat on the edge of the trolley, rubbing Danny’s back. Trying to make him feel in anyway, better. “Sshh, they’ll sort you out ok?”  
“Luke?” he cried in so much pain.  
Adam came back with the Doctor. “Danny, how are you doing?”  
Danny shook his head, unable to speak. At that moment, Lee and Sue appeared. The sight of Danny, knocking them for six. “Daniel?” his mum whispered moving to stand at the other side of the bed.  
Lee looked at him and then to the Doctor, “what’s happening?”  
The Doctor looked between him and mum, “he needs surgery. The bloods show high infection markers which indicate a burst appendix.”  
“Surgery?” Sue exclaimed.  
The Doctor nodded, “I am just waiting for one of the theatres to free up and he needs to go straight up.” He explained, “Danny I’ll get you some more drugs for the pain.”  
As soon as the doctor left Danny’s body shifted, he was trying to climb off of the trolley, Luke pushed him back. “What are you doing?”  
Danny shook his head, “I can’t have surgery.”  
Lee and Sue tried to calm him down, tried to talk to him but he wasn’t listening to them. His eyes were fixed on Luke, pleading to let him move, but Luke stopped him. “You have to Dan, this is really serious, you need to get better and you can’t without surgery.”  
Danny’s eyes screamed fear, they screamed pain and it crushed Luke to the point his own body was shaking through raw emotion. He took the back of his neck the way he often did and pressed their foreheads together, he didn’t even care who was there. “You have to please? I can’t watch you like this anymore! We’ll all be here when you wake up.”  
“Promise me.” He cried.  
Luke nodded, “I promise.”  
They hugged each other until the Doctor returned with pain relief, and to everyone’s relief it helped. Danny was practically unconscious when the surgeons came for him, and within an hour he was in theatres, and the four of them were sitting in the waiting room patiently.  
Adam stood up, “I’m going to get some fresh air and coffees. Luke can you give me hand?”  
Luke was numb but he nodded mechanically.  
“Thank you two so much for getting him here. And thank you Luke for getting him in there.” Sue said kindly but Luke couldn’t say anything.  
He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t think, his entire body numb. He followed Adam out of the room and the next thing he knew, they were outside the hospital when the fresh air hit him. Adam put an arm around his shoulder, “how are you holding up?” he asked.  
Luke shrugged silently, truth was he didn’t know. He was just really concerned right now that Danny might not be ok. Adam hugged his shoulder tighter, “he’ll be fine.”  
Luke held his breath, he really wanted to tell someone. He wanted to tell someone that he couldn’t ever go home, and that he had lost Danny in more ways than one, and wanted to tell someone that he had really messed up. He needed help. “Ad I-“  
Adam waited, but no more words came. Luke froze, he didn’t know how to start even if he could. His body lamented, he couldn’t do it.   
“What’s going on with you and Dan?” he asked. “You haven’t been talking these past few weeks, and yet back in there you’re the only one he was listening too. The only one he even wanted in the room… You are very close.”  
Luke shrugged but Adam persisted. “Can I ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me ok?”  
Adam let go of his shoulder and stood in front of him so they were looking at each other. “Is he more than your mate?”  
There was no judgement in Adam’s eyes, which was the first thing he noticed. There was no disgust as he made the suggestion of their relationship, and the words danced in his mouth, he opened it willing them to come out.  
Adam smiled kindly, “you must want to tell someone Luke? So here is someone.” He gestured to himself. “I’m asking you.”  
“I’m in love with him.”  
Luke was crying before all the words had come out of his mouth, a mixture of fear and relief coming with saying them out loud. Adam was flabbergasted, he hadn’t been expecting that, it was plain to see. But looking at Luke who was a complete wreck, he knew how hard it had been for him to admit that. Adam pulled him into a hug and whispered, “he’s going to be fine!”  
When Luke had calmed down, Adam held him at arm’s length. “Can you tell me about it? Tell me why you’ve been so down?”  
Luke inhaled a shuddery breath, “it just happened. We just happened and I don’t really know how and that’s not a lie I swear. But I’ve messed up Ad, really messed up. I broke up with him… and he hates me and I don’t know what to do to make things right!”  
“Why did you break up with him?” Adam asked.  
Luke looked away but it was too late, Adam had figured it out. “That black eye you had, was that something to do with this?”  
He shook his head but Adam knew him too well. “Tell me the truth Luke.”  
“Can you just leave it, it’s in the past and it doesn’t matter now!” Luke replied.  
Adam ran his hands through his hair agitated, “why did you break up?”  
Luke didn’t know what to say, he hadn’t needed to think of an excuse before because no one knew and it had thrown him off guard.   
“Luke, tell me now.” Adam demanded.  
“Phil saw us.” He murmured. “He said if he saw Dan again or saw us together again then he’d kill him.”  
Anger glowed from Adam. He couldn’t stand Phil as much as Luke couldn’t. “I’ll kill him!” he spat with fury.  
Luke stopped him from bolting from the spot, “please leave it, I can’t face him ok? I can’t go back there Ad so please just leave it? It doesn’t matter what he did to me, all I care about is him not hurting Dan so you just have to forget I told you this please? Please Adam?”  
Adam saw his panic and pulled him into another hug, “its ok. It will be because you don’t have to go back ever alright?”  
Luke nodded, trying to calm himself.   
“So I am assuming Dan doesn’t know any of this and he thinks you just dumped him?”  
“Yep.” Luke sighed, “The things I said to him, he hates me and I can’t say I blame him.”  
Adam smiled at his naivety, “after what I’ve just seen back there, he doesn’t hate you.”  
Luke felt his throat tighten, “I miss him Ad.”  
“So when he comes round, talk to him. Just tell him, screw Phil. He doesn’t mean shit to you and he needn’t ever be a consideration again. The people that care about you won’t care that you’re gay, or that you and Dan are together. I don’t.”   
And Adam’s words seemed to lift an invisible weight off his shoulders. He felt like he could breathe without suffocating. He’d told someone about what had happened, he’d admitted out loud that he was in love with Danny. The thought struck another chord inside him. “Dan! Can we get back?”  
Ad slapped his back, “of course, but we have to get coffees first.”

 

It was late as Luke sat by Danny’s bed. Lee had driven Adam home and Sue and Neil were outside the room arguing over who was going to stay with Danny overnight. But Luke didn’t think they had realised he wouldn’t be moving, not until Danny woke up.  
He hadn’t woken up since coming back from surgery a few hours before. He looked so much more comfortable than he had done, even in his sleep his face looked relaxed. The operation had gone well and they were just waiting for him to wake up once the sedation had worn off. Luke’s anxiety hadn’t gone and he knew it wouldn’t until Dan spoke to him; he reached out and took his hand. All he wanted was to touch him, to know that he was there and he was going to be ok.  
“Luke?”   
His eyes looked up, Danny was stirring and he jumped up. “Dan? It’s me, just relax.”  
He tried to open his eyes, he tried to look at Luke but couldn’t muster the energy. Luke stroked his hair, “just sleep Dan.”  
Sue appeared at his side hopeful, she put her arm around Luke as he spoke. “He stirred.”  
She kissed Luke on the cheek and he was surprised, “what was that for?”  
“Are you staying? If not Neil is going home now so he can take you back to your mum’s?” she asked.  
Luke shook his head, “no I’m not going there.”  
He saw the way she eyes him with questions, he looked away and back to Danny. “Can I stay?” he asked.  
“Of course you can.”

 

Danny opened his heavy lidded eyes slowly, he felt like he’d slept for a year. Once his vision focused he remembered where he was.   
On his right, he saw his mum sitting with her eyes closed.   
“Mum?” his voice croaked harshly, dry and sore.  
She looked up at him and smiled with relief. “Hello darling, how do you feel?”  
His voice was gruff, “sore.”  
She kissed his hand as Danny’s eyes searched the room and came across Luke, curled up in a chair fast asleep. His mum followed his gaze with a soft smile, “he hasn’t left your side.”  
Why? Danny couldn’t understand him. He looked at his mum, “can I have a drink?”  
She lifted a cup and swallowed the cool water gratefully.  
“Dan?”   
Luke was suddenly on his feet as he walked towards him, and Sue, as tactful as ever stood up. “I need to call you dad and Lee, let them know you’re awake. Luke stay with him, makes sure he doesn’t try and escape.”  
Luke smiled and nodded but he didn’t take his eyes off of Danny. Danny watched her leave the room before meeting his gaze, “what are you doing here Luke?”  
“I was worried about you. I wanted to know you were ok…” he hesitated with his words. “Plus I promised I’d be here when you woke up.”  
Danny looked away, “you’ve broken your promises before so why change now?”  
The words were unfair, he knew that. Luke had been there yesterday and he had been the one who got him to the hospital despite all his protesting. But they hadn’t spoken for so long, been so distant for so long he didn’t know why that had changed.  
“Dan I need to talk to you.”  
He refused, he didn’t want to hear it. “No Luke I don’t want to know. I needed to talk to you and you didn’t care about that so I don’t want to alright?”  
Luke sighed and his head dropped to the floor, Danny knew was crying but it didn’t change anything. “Luke I’m sorry. Thank you for what you did yesterday really, but it doesn’t change anything does it?”  
“You nearly died!” Luke cried, “You are my best friend and you nearly died so yes it changes things. Dan can we just talk?”  
“We aren’t best friends.”  
It hit Luke like a physical blow, it took him a moment to register the words. Danny wanted to explain but he didn’t know what to say, “I’m in love with you Luke and we’ll never be just friends so I can’t do this with you. You need to go.”  
Tears fell over his cheeks as he left the room, Sue called his name in the corridor but he didn’t stop, he walked and walked until he didn’t even know where he was. When Adam picked him up he’d been missing for hours.

Sue watched Danny from outside the room, he’d turned his head away because he knew she’d be watching. What was going on between the two of them?  
“Daniel?” she said softly sitting on the edge of the bed. “What’s going on with you and Luke?”  
He turned to face her and she wiped his face dry, “he cares about you very much.”  
“So why does it hurt so much?” Danny asked hiding his face again.  
And she knew then that she’d been right about them, never had she thought she would need to accept that one of her children was gay but there it was. Looking at her son so upset, clearly heartbroken the thought didn’t even need considering. She didn’t care if he was gay, straight or a bit of both, all she cared about was him being happy.  
“That’s love Daniel. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it hurts, all that matters is you decide when it’s worth fighting for.” She soothed.  
Danny sobbed more than ever, his mum knew. She understood what had been going on in his life without him needing to say the words aloud. She hugged him until he’d calmed down. “What happened?” she asked.  
Danny shook his head, “I don’t know mum. He just broke up with me and I miss him.”  
“Whatever happened, whatever changed I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t care about you. Why don’t you talk to him?” she asked hopefully.  
“He’s ignored me for weeks mum.”

Danny was at home on bed rest, 2 days after his operation. He hadn’t heard from Luke again and being stuck indoors was driving him to think about nothing other than him. He was grateful when Lee and Adam came over to distract him from staring at the walls. They’d filled the afternoon with nothing but Danny was smiling by the time they had to go. Adam caught him alone before he left, “Dan can I ask you something?”  
“Sure.”  
“Talk to Luke?” he asked hopefully, “I know he didn’t handle things well when he ended it but there’s so much more that you don’t know.”  
Danny stood, mouth ajar. “Do you know?”  
He nodded, “he told me because he knew he messed up and he wanted to fix it. I get you are probably really mad at him, but I am telling you there is a reason he broke up with you and you need to hear it. Talk to him. He’s moved in with me so please, anytime.”  
“Adam?” Danny asked for some kind of explanation, but Lee had called him too and he walked to the front door.  
“Talk to him Dan please.”

The next day, Danny had asked Lee if he was at the flat and he’d replied he was at work. So Danny was on his way round there now. He hadn’t needed to see Lee, just wanted to check he was out so Luke would talk to him. Adam’s words had played on his mind all night; there was a reason why he’d broken up with him. Danny needed to hear this because it had been the not knowing which hurt the most.  
“Hi.” Danny tried to smile as Luke answered the door.   
He registered Luke’s expression and felt a pang of guilt. He looked so lost, every time he’d seen him recently. His face was always sad and it wasn’t like Luke, he’d always been the energetic one and the optimistic one. And when Danny had tried to take his own life, all those months ago it had been Luke who lifted him up again. Luke had always been there for him and for the first time since they broke up, Danny wanted to try and return the favour, no matter how much it might hurt him.  
“Can we try that talk now?” he asked.  
Luke nodded, stepping aside and letting him in. Danny lingered inside the door until Luke passed him and they made their way into the lounge. Luke sat on a chair by the balcony, doors open and the sunshine poured through into the room. He didn’t look at Danny again, and they both stayed in silence waiting for other to talk.  
“You told Adam.” Danny stated.  
Luke nodded silently, Danny wanted to touch him. His whole body showed how down he was and it heart wrenching. “Luke? I’m sorry I’ve been harsh on you.” He said softly.  
“You had every right to be.” He looked at Danny, “I am so sorry. For everything.”  
“Adam said there was a reason you dumped me. And I’d really like to know what it is because I never got a reason.” Danny moved and stood near the balcony doors.  
“I love you Dan, I never lied about that. And I wanted to be with you,” tears filled his eyes. “I never wanted you to be the one that didn’t work out.”  
Danny pulled him up concerned, “so why did you do it? You broke my heart Luke, I’d fallen so hard for you and we slept together and then the next day, boom. Over. Why?”  
Luke held his gaze steady, “Phil saw us.”  
Danny’s breath was sharp as he heard the words.  
“He went ballistic. He said if he saw you again then he’d kill you and he said if I spoke to you again he’d put you in hospital, so I did the only thing I could think of to keep you away from me and to keep you safe. Nevertheless I am sorry for how I went about it but I was scared.”  
Danny pulled him close and they both hugged each other for the longest time. Neither wanted to let go.   
“I didn’t know what to do Dan; he kept me locked in my room.”  
Danny groaned in disbelief, “Jesus Christ Luke, I’m sorry.”  
“I snuck out of the window the day you had your psyche review, I needed to see you.” Luke explained, and Danny felt even worse for how he’d treated him that day.  
“But then I couldn’t go back and I didn’t know what to do so I came here, and I’ve been here since.” Luke finished. “I’m sorry for what I did that day, for what I said. I never wanted to hurt you.”  
Danny held his face, and kissed him. “I’m sorry he hurt you because of me.”  
Luke shook his head, full of more tears. “I don’t care about me Dan, but I am terrified he’s going to hurt you. He will and I’m so scared ok-“  
Danny stopped him with a kiss, “sshh. We’ll be fine alright? If you want this then we’ll be ok.”  
Luke pushed his head into Danny’s shoulder and they wrapped theirs arms around each other.   
“I love you Dan, of course I want to be with you…but what I did I don’t expect you to forgive that.”  
“All I want Luke is for us to go back to how it was, and to tell my dad and Lee and stop having to sneak around. I don’t care about Phil because you don’t have to live with him anymore so it doesn’t matter-he doesn’t ever have to find out.”  
Luke stopped him, “tell you family? Are you sure about that?”  
Danny smiled, “my mum already knows. And so does Summer.”  
“Oh God I bet they hate me now.” Luke moaned and Danny laughed.  
“On the contrary my fickle friend! They both adore you, they just didn’t know why we had stopped talking. But once they know about all of this it will be like nothing has changed alright? You and me.” Danny said, kissing him again. “So come back to mine please? You look like crap, I doubt you’ve slept in weeks and I just want to be with you somewhere we can both be us. Please?”  
Luke smiled and nodded, “if you are sure your mum and dad will be ok with it?”  
“One thing I’ve learnt through all of this is that my family are always going to be there, and I know they aren’t your proper family, but they care about you more than you realise. We will be fine.” He said.

Danny’s mum walked through the front door, followed by dad carrying bags of groceries. She stopped when she saw Luke sitting on the sofa with Danny, and his dad bumped into her dropping a bag onto the floor.   
“Luke, hi.” She smiled, “nice to see you again.”  
She looked at Danny for explanation but he could only grin back like a cheshire cat. Sue smiled widely, “Nice to have you back should I say?”  
She helped Neil with the bags in the kitchen and Danny followed them, leaving Luke in the lounge whilst he spoke to his parents.


End file.
